


The Doghouse

by BookofSpells



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Next-Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8775256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookofSpells/pseuds/BookofSpells
Summary: Men getting in trouble by their spouses.





	

Albus apparated into the lane leading to his parent’s house in Godrics Hallow with a pop. Grumbling under his breath moodily, he made his way to the front door and pushed it open without knocking. He knew that his mum and dad would not be home at this time of day and what he really needed was some quiet time away from his brooding husband.

Scorpius had been in a sore mood all morning, ‘through no fault of his own’ Albus reminded himself in frustration.

As the door clicked closed behind him, a voice from the sitting room caused Albus to nearly jump out of his trainers. Pulling out his wand, he rounded the corner slowly to find his brother James pointing his wand at his chest.

After a tense moment, they both dropped their wands with a laugh. “I nearly hexed your bollocks off Albus,” His brother quipped, sitting on the couch, then slinging his legs up to prop them on the coffee table.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect anyone to be here,” He replied mirroring his brother’s position on the other side of the couch.

“What are you doing here anyway? Mum and Dad are at work,” James questioned, raising his eyebrow to Albus’s grumpy expression.

“Because I am, and I quote, ‘an oblivious wanker and I can’t deal with you right now,” Albus answered bitterly.

James burst into laughter, annoying Albus further. “It’s not bloody funny James, kicked out of my flat I was.” 

“Quite the contrary little brother, that is hilarious.”

Albus scoffed. “What about you then?” 

“Because I am, and I quote, ‘an immature git who needs to go somewhere and think about his priorities.”

And with that both men collapsed into laughter. After several minutes Albus composed himself enough to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“We’re both in the dog house then,” Albus observed, still shaking with silent giggles. “What did you do?’”

James sighed. “You know that Maggie and I are looking for a house, right?” Albus nodded. “We found the perfect one yesterday in Tinworth. It had a huge basement that I wanted to turn into a man cave for me and my mates to play cards and have a firewhisky or two. It also has a huge orchid in the back where we could play Quidditch.”

“Sounds brilliant,” Albus encouraged. That was exactly the type of place that would appeal to his brother.

“That’s what I said! But noooo. It only has three bedrooms, James. How can we start a family here with only three bedrooms?” James mocked, saying the last sentence in a high-pitched impression of his wife.

Albus saw her point but choose not to mention it. Albus and Scorpius hadn’t needed to consider the prospect of children when they moved into their lavish London flat. 

“You’re lucky you can’t get Scorpius pregnant. She wants three kids Albus. Three!” James sighed dramatically. “Why not a dog? I like dogs and I would have company as I am always in the dog house.”

“Try to be optimistic,” Albus consoled with a laugh. “You’ll need to do a lot of shagging to have that many.”

His brother gaped at him with a horrified expression. “Gross Albus! Mum and dad had three kids.” 

“Bloody hell, way to make it weird,” Albus cried. “Why on earth would your mind jump to that? Really could have lived without that mental image.”

“You said it! Anyway, what did you do?”

Albus groaned and shook his head. “I did nothing! I am innocent in all of this.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” James said moodily, still looking sour over the loss of his dream home.

“It’s true!” He argued. “I was partnered with a new intern at work. A pretty blonde girl right out of Hogwarts. I’ve been training her for a few months.

“This morning she sends me an OWL asking me to the Ministry Christmas ball…as a date.” 

James downtrodden expression from before had disappeared and he was now positively beaming with delight. “And how, may I ask, did this pretty girl not realize that you are a raging homosexual with a husband to boot?”

Albus cringed at the realization that his brother was likely to tease him for this for years to come. 

“Maybe,” He responded, voice dripping with sarcasm, “because when I introduce myself to people I don’t say ‘Albus Potter, raging homosexual, husband to Scorpius, how do you do?’’ 

“I supposed that is a bit forward,” James teased. “Why is he upset. You didn’t accept the invitation, did you?” 

“Of course, not!” He defended. “He’s angry because he figures I should have mentioned being in a relationship, or something like that. As if I would purposely forget to mention I that I’m married just to get attention from ditsy blonde girls. The jealous tosser.”

“Albus! I never want to hear you, of all people, call someone a jealous tosser!” James howled in delight. “Do you remember at Dominque’s wedding, when that French blocked asked Scorpius to dance? We had to hide your wand to keep you from hexing the man. I don’t blame you though. He was much more attractive than you are.”

Albus threw a pillow and it hit James directly in the face. “That was not why I wanted to hex him! He embarrassed Scorpius!” 

“I don’t think that blush was from embarrassment.” James teased. “You were actually green with a jealous rage for the rest of the reception, hovering beside Scorpius like a lost puppy. I was surprised you didn’t pee on him to mark your territory.” James smiled and leaned back his head a bit as if he were remembering it fondly.

“That’s not the way I remember it.” Albus grumbled. Nevertheless, when they had returned home that night he’d shagged Scorpius into the mattress, ensuring he never thought about that sodding French bloke again. 

“Anyway, The Prophet made such a spectacle when they found out about us, I didn’t realize there was anyone left in the wizarding world that didn’t know.”

“Don’t worry about it AL. Buy him a book or something. He will eat it up and you will be rewarded with a nice shag,” James said.

Suddenly there was a loud noise as the door opened yet again. Albus and James stood up quickly, pointing their wands at the entrance of sitting room. A moment later Teddy came through.

“Whoa whoa, ease up. I didn’t think anybody would be here,” He said, sitting down in the chair opposite them with a sigh. “What are you two doing here?”

“Sulking,” Albus replied. “What about you?”

“Because I am, and I quote, ‘useless at cleaning up after the kids so I might as well just sod off.’ What are you two laughing at?”


End file.
